When the Terry Comes to Town
by FicfansEverywhere
Summary: When High Councilor Kolminye tasks Jayce and Viktor with summoning a powerful warrior from another dimension, she gets more than anyone bargained for when the newcomer turns out to be nothing like anyone expected. He is indeed powerful, but not in a way the High Councilor, or anyone, could have anticipated.
1. Chapter 1: Enter the Terry

_**What am I doing with my life?**_

* * *

Vessaria Kolminye was nervous.

That rarely happened.

Throughout her career as High Councilor of the League of Legends, she had overseen many skirmishes between rival city-states, Demacia and Noxus especially. She had stared down Nocturne, taken threats from Malzahar without so much as batting an eye, and had even reprimanded Syndra on occasion, when she let her power and arrogance take her too far. No one had any doubt that she truly was fearless, and to be both feared and respected by her peers.

But _this_ time, it was different. This time, Kolminye was riddled with nervous angst.

For today, the League was receiving a new champion.

Normally, this wouldn't be an issue. Champions were frequently applying for membership from every corner of Runeterra, from the Freljord to the Shadow Isles. To be nervous about a new arrival was nearly downright ludicrous, even if the newest addition was sometimes...less than pleasant.

So, why was Vessaria Kolminye herself anxious?

Because for the first time since the League's creation, a champion was to be summoned from an alternate dimension.

This was different from champions of the Void, and the Shard of the Monolith, Malphite. They had come from dimensions relatively "close" in proximity to Runeterra, according to certain experts in that particular field. It was a bit like knocking on the door of your next-door neighbor; merely a few feet away in distance. The champion that was to come to Runeterra on _this_ day, however, was from a world miles and miles away in terms of dimensional space. This was a test, of sorts; to see if great warriors were so abundant that even among the farthest reaches of the multiverse, they were available.

But the one drawback to this was that it was impossible to determine just what the newcomer would be _like._ Viktor and Jayce had reluctantly partnered together per the High Councilor's request, and had managed to build a device that could locate worthy champions across dimensions. However, they could only find that the champion in question was a being of _immense_ power, and that was all they knew. Apparently, the universe this being was from was located at the very edge of the multiverse, making it impossible to get a completely clear reading. But Kolminye lacked proper knowledge about these things, so if Zaun and Piltover's top scientists said that they couldn't find much else, then it was so.

As they stood in the main courtyard of the Institute of War, Kolminye couldn't help but wonder if this was a good idea. They were taking a gamble with the newcomer, and if he or she turned out to be some sort of malevolent god, then Runeterra itself could be put at risk. The founders of the League of Legends most likely wouldn't have approved of this, but some sacrifices had to be made for the sake of progress.

She had assembled the representatives for each city-state in the courtyard with her. It was only fitting that as the respective leaders of their nations, they be allowed to personally greet the newcomer.

"Are you certain about this, High Councilor?" Jarvan the Fourth voiced her concerns, eyeing warily the contraption the scientists had created. "You know the possible danger involved."

"I am aware of this as well, Prince Jarvan." She replied. "Rest assured that Jayce and Viktor have assured me that this won't fail. The device they've constructed _will_ work."

"You know that wasn't what I was referring to." He said.

She sighed, but didn't answer.

"I trust Jayce more than anyone here," Caitlyn said, adjusting her hat. "but what about Viktor? Are we certain that he won't sabotage the experiment?"

"Hey, lay off Viktor." Ekko replied, irritated. "He's not a bad guy. Sure, he might like machines a little too much, but he just has his own way of helping people."

"You'd better be right." She muttered. "Or it's on all of our heads."

"Shall we proceed, then?" Ashe asked, hands on her hips. "If the Freljord is to acquire a new ally for the Avarosan, I would prefer to meet him or her sooner than later."

"And what makes you think they will side with the Freljord?" Swain asked, Beatrice cawing in agreement. "They may prefer a more...fitting audience."

"Oh, we know _exactly_ what you'd prefer, Swain." Jarvan scowled. "Looking for another dog to leash, are you?"

"Enough." Kolminye said. The two commanders fell silent before things could escalate. "Mordekaiser, do you have anything to contribute? You've been oddly silent, which is unusual for someone of your reputation."

The Iron Revenant merely glanced in her direction, grunting and folding his arms. "We shall see." The Shadow Isles lord replied.

Kolminye shook her head. "Then we shall proceed." She turned her focus to Jayce and Viktor, who were leisurely waiting for her command. "Gentlemen, whenever you're ready."

They both nodded, turning to the array of controls at the base of the cylindrical machine, wires and tubes jutting from every inch. A large disc floated above the top, humming softly. As the Zaunite and Piltovan pressed various switches on the interface, it began to glow, then spin rapidly.

A dull, gradual whine began emanating throughout the air, followed by a gust of wind that nearly threw everyone off their feet. The disc spun faster and faster, becoming a blur of motion as its speed increased. The whine became higher-pitched, until it was the equivalent of one of Karthus's infamous sonnets.

"Is it supposed to be doing that?!" Ekko asked, shielding his eyes from the glow.

"I believe so!" Jayce replied, still at the controls.

" _WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU BELIEVE SO?!_ " Ekko said.

"There is a small chance that it might explode." Viktor offered unhelpfully.

" _OH, JUST PERFECT!_ " Ekko retorted. " _WHAT COULD GO WRONG?!_ "

"Viktor, sugar, you'd better get that thing under control, or we're all gonna be fried!" Sarah Fortune said, desperately holding on to her hat.

"We're almost at peak velocity!" Jayce replied. "Just a few moments longer!"

"Jayce, shut it down, now!" Kolminye ordered. "This is getting too dangerous to continue!"

"We can't!" The Defender of Tomorrow said. "If we do, that might only make things worse!"

The gathered champions could only watch as the disc spun faster and faster, glowing brighter and brighter with every passing second.

The whine finally reached its peak volume.

The glow reached the point where it was almost blinding.

Jarvan prepared his Golden Aegis.

Ekko readied his Z-Drive.

Caitlyn flinched, holding onto her hat.

Swain stood calmly, both hands on his cane.

Sarah ducked behind a nearby pillar of the massive domed archway overhead, Ashe following suit.

Malzahar summoned Voidlings to act as a shield.

Mordekaiser conjured shards of metal to form a barrier in front of him.

But just as the machine looked ready to explode...it stopped.

The assorted champions cautiously looked over their shields, as the device slowly spun to a stop.

"Did it...work?" Ekko asked.

"I...can't be certain." Jayce said. "A portal should have opened, and even though there _wasn't_ one, the readings still suggest that the experiment was successful."

"Oh?" Kolminye asked. "How so?"

"The data here says that a portal _was_ in fact opened." Viktor replied. "Apparently, our new champion has just arrived in Runeterra."

"If that's the case...then...where _is_ he?" Caitlyn inquired, looking around the area.

"According to the data?" Viktor asked. "Right here in this very room-"

"... _aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-_ "

Suddenly, a wall of the archway _exploded,_ and through the opening came a _jet-ski,_ with a dark-skinned man clad in nothing but a pair of briefs sitting atop it.

" _OLD SPICE BODY SPRAY MAKES YOU SMELL LIKE POWEEEEEERRRRR!_ " He screamed, skidding to a stop.

... _What?_ All of the champions, and the High Councilor thought, except for Mordekaiser, who looked almost giddy for some bizarre reason.

" _IT'S SO POWERFUL THAT IT SELLS ITSELF IN ONLINE FANFICS!_ " The man yelled again as he dismounted the jet-ski.

Everyone was silent. There really was no way to process what had just happened. This was _not_ what anyone had been expecting.

Luckily, Mordekaiser, the feared Lord of the Shadow Isles, had the sense to make an appropriate reaction.

" ** _OH MY GODS, IT'S TERRY CREWS!_** " He screamed in ecstatic glee, his voice sounding like a five-year-old girls. His hands were on his cheeks in sheer delight, giddily whining with joy.

"You... _know_ this man?" Kolminye asked.

" _ **HELL YES I DO!**_ " Mordekaiser replied. " _ **HE HAS DONE BRAZIL MANY GREAT SERVICES!**_ "

Brazil? That fantasy paradise he was always rambling on about? It was _real?_ "And...why exactly is this 'Terry Crews' held in such high regard in Brazil?" She asked, still trying to wrap her mind around this.

" _THAT'S BECAUSE OLD SPICE IS AVAILABLE IN BRAZIIIIIIIIIIII **IL**_ _ **!**_ " Terry shouted, enunciating the last part of his shout. He then walked over to Mordekaiser, sniffing at his armor. "You smell like pineapples and fruit smoothies."

Mordekaiser gleefully sniffed at Terry's head. "You smell like pow-"

"Yeah I do!" Terry interrupted, holding up what appeared to be a can of men's body spray.

Kolminye made a start to formally welcome him to the League, as well as explain why he was there.

Terry's left pectoral muscle flexed, sounding like a wrench being cranked.

Sarah started drooling.

Kolminye stared.

Terry's other pec flexed, sounding like a car engine being revved.

" _POOOWEEEEERRRRRR-_ " His feet sprouted rockets, and he crashed up through the domed ceiling and into the clouds.

"Uh..." Ekko sweat-dropped. "So. I guess that's the new guy."

* * *

 _ **I just did this for shits and giggles. Let me know if you want me to make this longer and continue it!**_

 _ **FicfansEverywhere**_


	2. Chapter 2: Introducing the Terry

_**Alright, everyone, I'm back, and with a new chapter of my new comedy hit! The first chapter seemed to garner a lot of support, so I've decided to continue the series! Yay! I just had to, after the legendary NarayanK himself encouraged me to unleash the power! So, this series will probably have shorter chapters than my main project, The Dawn Has Arrived, but nevertheless, it'll be funny as hell! Or so I've been told by my reviews. HOWEVER! I'm going to need all of you guys' help on this! I mainly know Terry's Old Spice references, but there are a plethora of other things Terry's done that I don't, such as stuff from Everybody Hates Chris. If you guys have any references to offer, let me know, and I will find a way to put them in! But here's the catch: you can only give the reference, NOT how you want to see it included. It'll be a surprise! Now.**_

 _ **IT'S TIME FOR SOME POOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!**_

* * *

For every new champion that entered the League of Legends, the current champions were gathered in the auditorium so that the newcomer could be introduced. It was only fitting that they be properly welcomed as a warrior, after all. The process was simple: the High Councilor would give light details on the champion in particular, then she would call him or her (and in some cases, it) to the stage to introduce themselves, and give a small demonstration of their abilities. Aurelion Sol's in particular had been spectacular to behold; according to the Celestial Dragon, his species was incapable of giving lackluster performances. Or perhaps that was merely his ego speaking.

Terry's (who the High Councilor was still trying to figure out) request for an entrance, however, had been rather...unusual, to say the least. However, Kolminye was beginning to understand that "unconventional" was his only way of doing things. The strange effect he had on Mordekaiser was a prime example.

The Iron Revenant had been acting extremely unusual since the newcomer's arrival. Gone was his intimidating stature and relentless malice. Now, he was little more than a screaming child, praising Terry for his services to Brazil, which was odd...again, to say the least.

As the champions gathered in the auditorium, Kolminye prepared to take the stage. But to everyone's curiosity, her hood was up, completely covering her face. It was a strange little tidbit, but no one minded. The High Councilor had her reasons for everything, so there was no need to question it.

The lights dimmed, and the slight buzz coming from the conversations before the stage quieted as Kolminye stepped up to her podium.

"Thank you all for coming." She said. "As per standard protocol, I'm sure you're aware of why I called you here."

"As you know, today marks the occasion that a new champion join us in the League of Legends, to fight alongside you on the Rift." She continued. A brief cheer went up from the audience, excitement sweeping through the room.

"However, and this has been kept secret from most of you save for the representatives of each city state..." Kolminye paused. "For the first time in the history of the Institute, this champion comes from a world entirely separate from our own."

A buzz of confusion sprouted, champions conversing among themselves in an attempt to understand this revelation.

"This experiment was successfully carried out by none other than Jayce and Viktor, who agreed to a temporary partnership in order to succeed." She gestured to the Defender of Tomorrow and Machine Herald, who politely accepted the congratulations sent their way.

As Kolminye continued, Jarvan and Garen discussed their own musings, albeit with the Crown Prince remaining tight-lipped on the specifics. "I don't see why you must be so stubborn on the matter, Jarvan." Garen said. "Can't you just offer me a small hint?"

Jarvan sighed. "It isn't so much as that the High Councilor ordered me to keep quiet." He paused, shifting slightly while leaning on his lance. "It's more that I myself don't know what to expect. The first encounter with him was...unusual."

"How so?" Garen raised an eyebrow.

"Would you believe me if I said it involved briefs, a jet-ski and Mordekaiser's fantasy dreamland?" Jarvan replied.

"...I don't even want to know." Garen muttered, shaking his head. "If it's another Jinx..."

"Frankly, I think that even _she_ is going to find him a handful." Jarvan said.

Garen's face paled.

"Oh yes, he certainly will be." Kolminye agreed, walking up next to them. "I had the misfortune (Sarah could be heard giggling from across the room) on discussing his reasons for joining and his lodgings in private. I don't think I'll ever forget the experience for the rest of my life."

"What- _High Councilor?!_ " Garen exclaimed, shocked. "How did you-" He looked back up at the stage, and sure enough, there was a _second_ Kolminye at the stage. "I don't- _how?!_ "

Kolminye sighed. "Take a guess."

Jarvan's eyes widened. "It's... _him?_ " He looked at the doppelgänger, bewildered. "But...he sounds just like you. Is he using magic?"

"Truthfully, I don't know." She admitted. "I gave up on deciphering his abilities after he criticized me for accidentally breaking a pencil, claiming that it was 'two dollars worth of pencil.' When I told him that it really cost one gold coin, he proceeded to somehow turn off every electric appliance in my quarters just by screaming at them."

The two Demacians were silent. They both decided separately just to go with it.

"And when our new champion arrived..." The fake Kolminye continued. "We discovered he was...different from the expectations."

Jarvan folded his arms, listening intently. Whatever Terry had planned, it was bound to be interesting...in theory.

"We found that his power levels were exceptionally low." The impostor said. "Truth be told, it was rather disappointing."

Jarvan frowned. This wasn't what he had been expecting at all. Terry had been rather adamant in assuring that -Old Spice, was it?- was powerful enough to do amazing things. He didn't think the brief-clad man would change his tune so quickly.

The champions let out a groan of disappointment, the Noxians in particular. Kled was screeching profanities for his time being wasted, threatening to feed everyone to Skaarl and pee on their Poptarts. No one was surprised, as it was Kled.

"I know, I know." Fake Kolminye said. "You're all saddened by this. But unfortunately, the newcomer, Terry Crews, was anything _but_ powerful."

Wait...

Jarvan began to sense that there was more to this announcement than met the eye.

"At least..."

The champions paused, sensing that she (or rather, _he_ ) wasn't finished.

" _THAT'S WHAT A DUMMY WOULD SAY!_ " The impostor suddenly threw back his hood and ripped off his robes to reveal Terry standing there, clad in nothing but a pair of briefs, as he had been before.

" _ODOR-BLOCKING BODY WASH IS SO POWERFUL THAT IT CAN BLOCK B.O. FOR SIXTEEN HOURS!_ " Terry proclaimed, holding up a bottle of Old Spice Body Wash.

Everyone instantly threw the idea of what they perceived of reality out the window, as their brains scrambled to make sense of what the _**$% &#**_ had just happened.

" _IT'S SO POWERFUL THAT IT CAN TURN MORDEKAISER INTO AN ANIME FANGIRL!_ " Terry pointed at the champion in question, who was now wearing the uniform of a Japanese schoolgirl.

" _ **I LOVE YOU TERRY-SENPAI!**_ " He screamed, jumping up and down giddily. _ **  
**_

" _THANK YOU! EVEN THOUGH I FIND THAT OUTFIT REALLY WEIRD IT'S NICE TO KNOW THAT YOU THINK I'M POWERFUL, WHICH I AM!_ " Terry yelled.

"Does he...?" Jarvan started.

"No. So far that's his only volume setting." Kolminye finished.

Jarvan sighed.

Finally, Lux's brain was the first to recuperate, asking the one question that would eventually be on everyone's minds.

"Excuse me?" She raised her hand politely. "How can men's body wash do something like that, exactly?"

Suddenly, Terry fell down in front of her from the ceiling, but _continued through the floor,_ then fell back down from the ceiling again, before landing with a loud _crash_ on top of Urgot, creating cracks in the floor. He looked oddly angry.

" _OLD SPICE BODY SPRAY CAN CHANGE A REGULAR-SMELLING LADY LIKE HER-_ " _Two_ Terrys suddenly popped up from the either side of him, giving his voice a strange echo as he gestured to Lux, before disappearing. " _INTO A LADY WHO SMELLS LIKE-_ "

" ** _POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!_** " As he yelled, a powerful gust of wind erupted from his mouth directly as Lux as his voice took on the echo again, but as Lux received it, her clothes _exploded off_ (with fire and everything), until she was left wearing nothing but her white lace underwear. Not that Ezreal was complaining, of course.

Lux, on the other hand, looked furious. " _HOW IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME SMELL LIKE POWER YOU SON OF A-_ "

" ** _-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER_** ** _!_** " Terry resumed yelling, emitting another gust of wind that, this time, exploded clothes _onto_ Lux, until she was wearing her complete Imperial skin. Ezreal silently cursed to himself.

"...Oh." Lux looked down at her ensemble. "I suppose that this does make me look more powerf-"

" _POTATO CHIPS!_ " Terry yelled, and the Lady of Luminosity exploded again, turning into a vending machine for chips.

" _LUX! **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**_ " Garen and Ezreal screamed simultaneously, dropping to their knees.

" _ **AWESOME! THAT WAS SO POWERFUL, TERRY-SENPAI!**_ " Mordekaiser exclaimed, while Thresh, Hecarim, Karthus and Yorick looked very disturbed.

Terry smashed a fist through the glass in Lux's new form, taking her newly acquired snack virginity. He ripped open the bag and munched on a few chips, before appearing satisfied.

" _LUXANNA CROWNGUARD!_ " He yelled, and the vending machine exploded, turning back into a very startled Lux.

Garen and Ezreal were extremely relieved yet very confused.

"Chips?" Terry offered the bag to her.

Lux's face brightened. "Oh, sure! Thanks-"

" _WELL, TOO BAD, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HAVE 'EM! THAT WAS THREE DOLLARS' WORTH OF POTATO CHIPS!_ " Terry slapped Lux in the face powerfully with the bag, causing her to drop to the ground, unconscious. Terry looked down at her, shrugged, then walked out of the auditorium.

Everyone awkwardly watched him leave.

Meanwhile, Urgot lay on the ground, sad because no one loved him. He'd just had a man land on him, then a vending machine. He was really hoping that Riot got their _**sh-#$**_ together and made him cool for he rework, because so far his life sucked.

* * *

 _ **How was THAT, huh? Remember, I NEED REFERENCES. Everybody Hates Chris, Expendables, etc. Let me know what you thought of this in the reviews!**_

 ** _FicfansEverywhere_**


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